Joy In The Things We Don’t Say

I teach dance and  have spent the last few years of my life volunteering and working with a group of students at a High School near my home. I’ve seen these students grow as artists and dancers and It fills my heart with so much joy to see them move on to the next step in their lives. But as they move on, so do I. I am both so happy and sad that it is my last day working with them, and in the dance studio. Bigger and better things are on the horizon and as this season of my life is closing and  another one is opening I wanted them to know what kind of an impact they had on my life. Maybe one day they will read this, or maybe they won’t. I just want them to know how special they were to me...

Most of you don’t know that there was a time about two years ago after the birth of my second child when I was in a really dark place. I was diagnosed as severely postpartum and would/could barely even take care of myself. Simultaneously, I had a cancer scare, a test came back positive for pre-cancerous cells that would ultimately have to be surgically removed. To say it was a hard season in my life is an understatement. But despite all of that I showed up for rehearsal everyday, smiling and laughing and shouting at all of you as I normally would!  I never wanted to let what was happening inside effect what I was teaching you… You are probably wondering why I am revealing this to you all now. Well, heres why. There is an immense joy in the things we don’t say. And what you all don’t realize is that coming to the studio to dance and laugh with all of you was the brightest points of my weeks most times. Your laughter and jokes brought me so much hope and life, that I wasn’t experiencing on the inside.  Being your teacher brought me  joy in a time when there was so much fear, and I want to thank you for all of your love now and during that time. I may not have a personal relationship with all of you, but just know being in the presence of such fun and inspiring young people made me so, so very happy then, and still does to this day. So as you embark on your next stage of life I want you to remember the joy you can bring to others lives without even saying a word. Positive energy and love resonates deep within the body, I feel it when I dance and I feel it when I teach. I hope you were all able to feel my passion and love for what I do when I would teach you. I challenge you all to find something that you are passionate about. So passionate about you want everyone to love it too. I want you to find something that makes you so happy you want to share it with everyone you meet and every life you touch. Don’t hold your passions in, share them– with everyone! And on those days when you don’t feel like giving it your all I want you to think about me jumping up and down, dancing and shouting MORE MORE MORE! SMILE! Because there is always room to give more, to be more and to do more. Good luck to all of you, and thank you for being such a wonderful light in my life these last four years. You all will hold a special place in my heart.

A Timeline.

Have you ever thought of how differently your life would have turned out if you had just turned right instead of left? Or taken the job and left the old? Have you ever thought of the minor changes you make that make the major differences in your life?

My friends and I decided to do a project where we do exactly that. We have planned a “Time Line  Making Day”, a day where we will get together and reflect on the pivotal moments in our lives that shaped who we are today. For instance:

It was a mid winter night in Los Angeles and I was 19. My girlfriend Teressa and I lived in an apartment complex that had a large pool right in the center. It was freezing for a Southern California evening, and like the spontaneous (and stupid? Maybe crazy?) 19-year-old kids we were, we decided it would be a good idea to jump into the pool. We made our way through the pool gate and teetered on the edge. Residents of the complex stood on their balconies to see if we would actually do it. And we did. (I was pretty scared, and Terresa would probably tell you I almost back out.) But we held hands and just jumped. Clothes and all.

I remember the cold of the water almost paralyzing as I was submerged, and the darkness of the water surrounding me. I remember seeing the lights of the apartments through the water’s surface beaming down through the wakes we made. I remember those things, but I no longer remember the fear. And what seemed like forever being in the depths of that pool, in reality, was only a minute.

This may not seem like a huge pivotal point to most people, but for us it was. You see, during that time in our lives we were living pretty broke. We wanted to pursue our dreams of dancing and acting in a large city, and for the most part, we were! But not without some (major) fear and hesitation. By jumping into the pool we wanted to  remind ourselves that no matter how scared we were we still could jump into whatever we wanted to do. And so we did. Literally. So to this day, whenever something is scary; either she is wanting to make a move or I want to pursue a new path we tell each other to, “Jump into the pool”

When I make my timeline, I would mark this moment in my life as one of those times when I remembered who I was. It would be a marker on my timeline that reminded me to be spontaneous and not to fear anything, because fear is such a temporary feeling. There are many more important markers and pivot points to lead me to where I am today but I would mark this as a major one in my shift in thinking.

So I challenge you to think  of  your pivot points. What moments have you had, either big or small that have challenged you, or scared you? What moments in your life made you a better person or made you worse off? And remember that it is ok to remember when we were worse off. It makes you appreciate what you have now, that makes you better off!

I know its easy to forget the harder times, because, well, they were hard. But what if we looked at those hard times differently? What if we  reflected on those hard moments and saw them as markers that changed us and challenged us for the better. Try making your timeline, see where you’ve been and how you ended up where you are today!

Here are a few things to consider when you make your own!

-What was the first decision you made, separate from decisions your parents have made for you?

-What was a pivotal moment in your childhood that you feel still stays with you as a formative moment or season today?

-Name a few significant moments that changed your life. (Marriage, birth, death, career change, etc) And WHY they changed your life or didn’t!

-Remember a time you were scared, but things worked out… and when they didn’t work out.

-Think about small things that have happened to you that you wouldn’t really consider being major but in reality they were.

-Name a few people who have influenced your life to go in a different direction and why!

The possibilities are endless! The main point is to remember where you’ve been, and how those moments made you, you. Maybe you are at a pivot point in your life currently, and faced with a decision to go either way, looking back might help you make a better decision.

Have fun, be honest with yourselves and be creative with your timelines! This is a reflection of your past that can help you form ideas for your future. Enjoy!

XO-Mimi

#Momprobs.

New meanings moms (and dads) would give to otherwise mundane terminology. 

1. Dinosaur Books: Bounded pages filled with unpronounceable words like: Nothronuchus or Yangchuanosaurus (seriously, what happened to the easy ones like T-reX? Or Long Neck?), that make me sound like I can’t read. And ultimately make story time a million times longer then it has to be.

2.Limbo: That place you are in after the kids are in bed and you need to decide whether you will clean the house, or just fall asleep.

3. Purgatory: That other place that happens when you are tired all damn day and its finally bedtime. Your kids fall asleep, and suddenly you aren’t tired anymore. (!&#%&!*! I know you’re feeling me on this one mom’s and dads out there.)

4.Barista: Your Best friend at 7:00 AM, 2:00 PM and sometimes even 6:00PM

5.Bartender: Your other BFF who you often see when you really need a break typically at 7:00 AM, 2:00PM and 6:00PM…hey. Its always 5 o’clock somewhere right? I don’t judge.

6. Wine: Magical elixir that breathes life into you when you feel like you just. can’t. even. anymore  and…..usually crying ugly tears.

7. High Heels: What are those? Those pokey devil tools that make me walk like a drunk puppy?

8. Bathroom Break: That place you go to hide from your family.

9. Eating Right: What happens when you are trying to diet but McDonalds is on the right hand side of the road. Thats eating, right?

10. Dressing up: What I do when I drop my son off for preschool to make other people think I have it together.

My Lilly Pulitzer for Target Jumper (that almost wasn’t)

You must be thinking, is this girl serious? Is she really writing a blog post about her almost near miss of the Lilly Pulitzer for target collection? And yes. I am dead serious. I am writing a post about it. For someone who loves fashion I can hardly believe that I didn’t set a reminder for this when my girlfriend told me who this designer was. (Thanks Jessica!)

You see, to be really honest, I didn’t even know who this was before a few weeks ago. I had a client ask me for items that looked similar to Lilly Pulitzer prints and I had to call said friend, Jessica (one of my most fashion forward girlfriends) who told me that Lily Pulitzer is a resort brand that is super popular in the south. (And if you have read the news lately Target was overran by not only women in the south, but…well everyone in the US Sunday morning. My city included)

Anyway,  I stumble into target early morning Monday morning (the day AFTER the Epic Launch) and see a rack of beautifully printed pieces almost stripped down to the bare tee-stand. There was nothing on it but this green jumper and a few other pieces. So I check the tag, I look around AND OMG, its that brand my friend told me about! I quickly ran about the store in search of the nearest attendant to find out what I missed. Apparently I missed a lot, fashionably speaking. They said they ran out of mostly everything within minutes and the items I did see on the rack were the only pieces left.

WHAT!

I went into a panic. There is something about having something that no one else has, that drives me absolutely i-n-s-a-n-e. Even if I don’t want it that bad, I still have to have it. Call me a bandwagon jumper! I like to call it…an obsession with clothing.

After a few hours of searching and heavy bribery for my children to cooperate, I was able to snag a jumper, a beach tote and some flip flops! But it could have been bad. I could have missed this launch all together and I would be forced to go on ebay and pay a ridiculous price (which I wouldn’t) for these items that cost me less then $100. I may or may not have checked the two other stores in my city, and I may or may not have called around to see if they had ANYTHING in my size. (And everywhere was sold out if you were wondering.)

When Missoni for Target launched a few years ago my husband thought I was nuts searching everywhere for a coveted $20 scarf.  Was I nuts? Maybe. I told him I was being sensible because that same scarf could cost me upwards of $100 if I bought it at a regular place. And he agreed and let me search. I should have just learned my lesson to mark my calendar then.

Mark your calendar when Target Launches these special promos friends. That way you don’t end up scouring the Earth and navigating you way through other disappointed female shoppers in search for the hottest item, like me.

XO-Mimi

And PS: The Jumper is amazing, might not look like much on the hanger…but it really is fabulous.

 

 

Boy Style

Shopping for boys hasn’t been an easy task. For a mom who styles women for a living and LOVES to dress up, not being able to find amazing pieces my boys was, and is still a little heart breaking. It’s so easy to walk through any clothing store and see racks of clothes, shoes and accessories for girls of all ages. The boys section always pales in comparison!

So what is a mom to do? Here is a list of easy and in expensive ways to outfit your little dude to be the most stylish kid on the playground.

1. Go for the Accessories: You can count on easy staples for boy’s clothes: Shorts/pants, Tops that are long or short-sleeved (or tank top), and that is pretty much it. So try reaching for cute hats and accessories. You can find amazing hats at H&M or Old Navy for often time less than $10 each!  Spring is a great time to buy hats like the one my son in the picture above is wearing. By summer these are often sold out!

2. Jackets are always cool: Except when its hot outside (obviously). A great way to dress us an outfit is by finding a great jacket. Light weight jackets are so fun for spring and always come in bright colors. My tip for buying jackets is: Always shop during CLEARANCE season for a size larger than your child wears currently. You can get amazing discounts on expensive coats for the next winter! Your kid can have that stylish jacket and you won’t have to fork out $100 on something he will only wear for three or four months.

Added bonus: A vest is always cute too!

3. SHOES SHOES SHOES: Name brand shoes often time come at a hefty price tags. But I have found some of my kids (and my) favorite shoes at places like Ross and Marshall’s at a fraction of their retail prices! Since I know they will only be worn for a season or two, I hate spending so much, for so little wear.

4.Online Shop Till you Drop: Shopping online will often land the best kids clothes. While not every piece will be super inexpensive, it will be super one of a kind especially in his classroom. (Unless there are other savvy shopping mom’s who know where to buy the cute stuff). Gilt.com is an online retailer (you have to sign up to get the emails) that emails sales for all types of cute stuff. This place is not only for kids, but for grown ups too! There are a ton of other websites that offer this type of shopping so check um’ out!

5. Let them Experiment: My son was going through a: I just want to wear long sleeves and pants even when its hot out phase. So, I just let him do it. He quickly realized that maybe wearing what he wanted to wear wasn’t the most functional thing in the world (that, and his friends had short sleeves so…naturally he thought he should be wearing them too). But he also gets to pick out things he loves, and as much as I cringe when I tell him ok, I soon realized he is creating his own taste and sense of style for himself. He knows what he likes and doesn’t like, what is comfortable and not for him. He picks out pieces, I pick out pieces and our combined efforts sometimes makes the cutest outfits! Just let him be creative and see what he comes up with, he might surprise you!

 6. HUNT: There are just as much cute pieces our there for boys as there is girls, but as sad as it sounds, you just have to hunt for them. Try looking at different stores to make a whole ensemble. Don’t limit yourself on colors and patterns because those are the only pieces on the display table- and they all go together. Mix and match from different stores! I typically buy basics and then add one pieces from any place I come across.

Most of all, just have fun, they are only young once so If they hate what you picked out for them… tough luck. You’re the mom. Happy Shopping!

XO-Mimi

Why I Charge So Much To Do Your Makeup

Over my ten years experience both working at a (very busy) cosmetics counter and as a freelance artist on my own time I’ve heard a number of funny things. But my favorite expression to hear when I tell clients my rates for a Makeup application is, “Wow, that’s expensive!”. (Often times followed by a funny look and/or head shaking in confusion.) I mean, yes, it is expensive. But like any service, beauty or otherwise, good work isn’t free. So today, I wanted to break down some of the reasons why Artists “charge so much”…

1. Product costs a TON: I own a lot of great makeup. With the exception of only a few products (see my previous post Splurge Vs. Save) NOTHING is ever purchased from a drug store. One foundation alone can cost me in the ball park from $35-60, depending on what the client wants.  If I have multiple clients with many different foundation shades…that is a whole lot of foundation I will need in my kit and whole lot of money for me to fork out. So basically, a portion of what I charge goes to the actual purchase of future product.

2. Locality matters: An Artist who lives or works out of or in a larger city will often times charge what the going rate is for freelance artistry in that area. The cost of living is often times higher in larger cities, therefore the cost of makeup application will be too. Prices are higher for most businesses, homes and gas prices too in larger cities, so it shouldn’t be different for artists either.

3. Time: A good, basic, makeup application will take 30-45 minutes depending on the amount of work a client wants. (Then add that plus 6 bridesmaids at 6AM, just saying) But what the client doesn’t see is the amount of prep time it takes to do such applications. I have to prepare my kit with colors they want, sanitize lipsticks, liners, and wash brushes. For one client this can take fifteen minutes, for 5 clients this can take an hour.

4. Experience: A client pays for a certain level of professionalism and experience when they hire a freelance artist. Typically makeup artists who freelance are familiar with lighting, and makeup wear. They know what will work for a photo shoot versus a wedding without even blinking.  The rate the artist charges is typically a reflection of the amount of experience they have.

For example, when I was a beginner in the Makeup world I would take whatever clients I could for free just for experiences sake, so I could build my skills and my portfolio. But as I matured as an artists, and began doing more shows, photo shoots and weddings my rates increased to reflect my experience.

5. Travel: This does not always apply. Some artists tack this charge on separately, or the rate of travel is already included in the cost. But as you all know, gas is expensive! The added benefit of hiring a freelance artist is that they come to you, so you are paying for the convenience of the service as well as a portion of their gas money

Moral of the story, you get what you pay for! Makeup artists need to make money too, and telling them that they charge too much won’t change their rate. Be kind to them. They have feelings too you know.

-Mimi

What My New Self Knows

 My girlfriends and I got together for a Vision board making day.  It was, all at once, therapeutic, relaxing and just really fun. If you don’t know what a vision board is, its just a collage of all the things you want to invite into your life, basically your vision of the future, down on paper.

My girlfriend had posted a quote on hers that struck a chord with me, it said: “What would your New Self Tell Your Old Self?” and I thought long and hard about that.

What would me now, tell me then? Because I have changed whole heartedly. I mean who hasn’t changed over the course of a year, five year, ten years? We all encounter situations that shape us into better individuals or do I dare say, worse off than we were before.

So what would I tell myself? I think I would say to be more spiritual and kind to my body. As I get older I’m realizing how things c-h-a-n-g-e after thirty, and I don’t just mean my metabolism slowing down. I mean, hair loss,  inability to stay up past 9:30, and sensitivity to acidic foods. Maybe I would tell my young self to drink less, eat better and meditate daily. I would want early me to learn to navigate stress better because I’m anxious as all hell now. (But I’m working on it).

I would tell early me to keep making mistakes and not be so hard on myself when I made them. Because ultimately I ended up right where I belong…

What would your New Self tell your Old Self if you could?

Log out.

My girlfriends and I decided that for the month of April we would log out of our Facebook accounts and have a social media strike. Today is day 12. And I feel great. (It sounds like a twelve step program and I am in social media rehab)

I have to admit that the first week was hard. I wanted to log back in, and cheat. I wanted to see if I had any notifications…I wanted to see who was paying attention to my life…

But within the first few days I realized how much the action of opening my phone to check Facebook became a habit rather than a tool for communication. Of course I was communicating sometimes, but a majority of the time I would just grab my phone to out of pure habit. Not because I was eager to be on Facebook, just because it was what I did every morning. (This habitual checking not only became apparent to me when I woke up but throughout the day too, but maybe more on the next time.)

On a typical morning, I would open my phone to check “the news” on Facebook and then get out of bed. Without Facebook, I actually got, well, I got out of bed. (Shocking, I know) I woke up without liking anyones posts, without seeing where my friends were vacationing. I wasn’t reading about the horrible morning my girlfriend was having with an X boyfriend and I wasn’t scrolling past endless vague-inside jokes- that no one but the poster (and the intended tagged individual) would understand.

Although there were some great articles to read and always some amazing photos to ‘like’, all in all it wasn’t worth wasting a half hour (maybe more) of my morning when I could be doing more productive things. Like brushing my teeth for instance, or taking a shower, or…hanging out with my kids.

I’ve realized quitting Facebook might just be something I will do forever. I have more time on my hands now. I have more social interactions with my friends in person and on the phone. And as an added bonus, my friends and I are actually talking to each other…not tagging each other and our location to tell everyone else what we are doing.

I used to think that checking my FB every ten minutes now and then was fine. Which it was, but those minutes do add up. And at the end of the day I realized I lost an hour (or more) just scrolling, and liking, and sometimes feeling shitty that I wasn’t vacationing with my friends too. Or whatever cool thing they were doing.

I have more then half the month more to go, so more on my Facebook logout later!

XO

Mimi