To be like her.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a Miracle.” -Albert Einstein

 

My family and I went on a Vacation to Legoland recently  and stayed at this beautiful resort in Carlsbad, California. One morning, before our first day in the park, my family and I were sitting down for breakfast when I noticed this beautiful women enter the lobby.

She was tall and statuesque. Her dark hair fell loosely around her light-complected makeup-less skin and her outfit looked casual but at the same time, very expensive. She looked so put together and effortlessly beautiful. She exuded power and grace in such a simple way that I was just in awe of her.

And then, for a brief moment, I wondered what it was like to be her.

Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever seen someone and wondered what their life was like? What their day to day routine consisted of? If they were happy or sad, pleased with their life or completely unhappy? I do. I would love to know what her life was like! Maybe she was some top executive putting together a multi-million dollar account. Or a movie star in the making. Perhaps she was having an affair and this was her getaway! My imagination let loose!

But then I wondered, if she wondered what mine was like. Or if anyone did for that matter. If they saw me, and thought “It must be great to be a mother and have a family”…

Here we were, she and I, almost the same age, but in completely different life stages. I was carting around my children off to Legoland on vacation on a Wednesday morning dressed in Nikes, a hooded sweatshirt and cut off jeans, while she was decked out in J. Crew. Did she ever stop to think about what it was like to be me?

Not in an envious, or superior way, just simply what it would be like. For me, I did. At that moment. She was being whisked away by an older man for maybe a breakfast date and I was cleaning up the mess my kids made.

I just think, if the winds of opportunity changed and I wasn’t 31 with kids, would I be in her shoes? Had I stayed in the professional track would I too, be in a resort hotel on a business meeting? I’m not sure.

But I wonder if she would look at me and think the same. What would it like to be a mom and have a family and feel settled in a family type situation at 31? What would it be like to chase after little ones? I wondered if she was even at the point of wanting children and if there was a side of her that did.

What a beautiful thing it would be if we could peer into the minds and lives of other individuals and see how great WE have it. At times I often forget how fortunate I am to be where I am now. To have wonderful children and an amazing husband. Maybe the winds would have shifted a different direction, and I wouldn’t be in her shoes, or the ones I’m in now. I guess of all things I think about, that is the scariest. Not, what if I could be her, but what if I didn’t have all of the love I have now.

Has there ever been a time where you wondered what it would be like to be in another persons shoes? Or wondered if you had just taken that job, or married that person how your life would be? Do you think you would be better off or the same?

Just Curious!

Xo-Mimi

How to Beat The Full Moon Blues.

A full moon is upon us, and ever notice how whenever there is a full moon things get a little whack out crazy?! I mean, I know whenever a full moon is upon me I feel a little: sad, happy, hungry, angry all within a five-minute span. I want to eat everything, buy everything, than cry that I ate too much and didn’t have enough money to buy what I wanted. (And no, it’s not PMS)

Today I was wondering why I was feeling so crazy and then I saw it: THERE IS A FULL MOON OUTSIDE! So in order to help myself, and others suffering from the full moon blues I’ve complied a short list of fun ways to break the full moon funk.

1. Make a Play list of songs you love and play it over and over. Bonus points if you can get in the car and sing with it. And extra bonus points if its gangster rap, you roll your windows and bump it until your speakers rattle.

2. Dance. Dance in your kitchen, dance with your kids, your spouse, your dog, you mom. Just dance. Movement causes endorphins and endorphins make you happy!

3. Call your: I just need to cry ugly tears to you for no reason friend. Everyone has got one of those kinds of friends. That person who just listens to you and knows you are being completely irrational but agrees with everything you say just to make you feel better. (Then often calls you back and reminds you of how were being really dumb once you feel better.)

4. Do something nice for someone else. It’s even better when its an anonymous thing.

5. Get crafty. Make something and give it to someone (See #4)! Crafting always gets my mind off of things that are making me blue.

What do YOU do to beat the full moon blues?

Joy In The Things We Don’t Say

I teach dance and  have spent the last few years of my life volunteering and working with a group of students at a High School near my home. I’ve seen these students grow as artists and dancers and It fills my heart with so much joy to see them move on to the next step in their lives. But as they move on, so do I. I am both so happy and sad that it is my last day working with them, and in the dance studio. Bigger and better things are on the horizon and as this season of my life is closing and  another one is opening I wanted them to know what kind of an impact they had on my life. Maybe one day they will read this, or maybe they won’t. I just want them to know how special they were to me...

Most of you don’t know that there was a time about two years ago after the birth of my second child when I was in a really dark place. I was diagnosed as severely postpartum and would/could barely even take care of myself. Simultaneously, I had a cancer scare, a test came back positive for pre-cancerous cells that would ultimately have to be surgically removed. To say it was a hard season in my life is an understatement. But despite all of that I showed up for rehearsal everyday, smiling and laughing and shouting at all of you as I normally would!  I never wanted to let what was happening inside effect what I was teaching you… You are probably wondering why I am revealing this to you all now. Well, heres why. There is an immense joy in the things we don’t say. And what you all don’t realize is that coming to the studio to dance and laugh with all of you was the brightest points of my weeks most times. Your laughter and jokes brought me so much hope and life, that I wasn’t experiencing on the inside.  Being your teacher brought me  joy in a time when there was so much fear, and I want to thank you for all of your love now and during that time. I may not have a personal relationship with all of you, but just know being in the presence of such fun and inspiring young people made me so, so very happy then, and still does to this day. So as you embark on your next stage of life I want you to remember the joy you can bring to others lives without even saying a word. Positive energy and love resonates deep within the body, I feel it when I dance and I feel it when I teach. I hope you were all able to feel my passion and love for what I do when I would teach you. I challenge you all to find something that you are passionate about. So passionate about you want everyone to love it too. I want you to find something that makes you so happy you want to share it with everyone you meet and every life you touch. Don’t hold your passions in, share them– with everyone! And on those days when you don’t feel like giving it your all I want you to think about me jumping up and down, dancing and shouting MORE MORE MORE! SMILE! Because there is always room to give more, to be more and to do more. Good luck to all of you, and thank you for being such a wonderful light in my life these last four years. You all will hold a special place in my heart.

A Timeline.

Have you ever thought of how differently your life would have turned out if you had just turned right instead of left? Or taken the job and left the old? Have you ever thought of the minor changes you make that make the major differences in your life?

My friends and I decided to do a project where we do exactly that. We have planned a “Time Line  Making Day”, a day where we will get together and reflect on the pivotal moments in our lives that shaped who we are today. For instance:

It was a mid winter night in Los Angeles and I was 19. My girlfriend Teressa and I lived in an apartment complex that had a large pool right in the center. It was freezing for a Southern California evening, and like the spontaneous (and stupid? Maybe crazy?) 19-year-old kids we were, we decided it would be a good idea to jump into the pool. We made our way through the pool gate and teetered on the edge. Residents of the complex stood on their balconies to see if we would actually do it. And we did. (I was pretty scared, and Terresa would probably tell you I almost back out.) But we held hands and just jumped. Clothes and all.

I remember the cold of the water almost paralyzing as I was submerged, and the darkness of the water surrounding me. I remember seeing the lights of the apartments through the water’s surface beaming down through the wakes we made. I remember those things, but I no longer remember the fear. And what seemed like forever being in the depths of that pool, in reality, was only a minute.

This may not seem like a huge pivotal point to most people, but for us it was. You see, during that time in our lives we were living pretty broke. We wanted to pursue our dreams of dancing and acting in a large city, and for the most part, we were! But not without some (major) fear and hesitation. By jumping into the pool we wanted to  remind ourselves that no matter how scared we were we still could jump into whatever we wanted to do. And so we did. Literally. So to this day, whenever something is scary; either she is wanting to make a move or I want to pursue a new path we tell each other to, “Jump into the pool”

When I make my timeline, I would mark this moment in my life as one of those times when I remembered who I was. It would be a marker on my timeline that reminded me to be spontaneous and not to fear anything, because fear is such a temporary feeling. There are many more important markers and pivot points to lead me to where I am today but I would mark this as a major one in my shift in thinking.

So I challenge you to think  of  your pivot points. What moments have you had, either big or small that have challenged you, or scared you? What moments in your life made you a better person or made you worse off? And remember that it is ok to remember when we were worse off. It makes you appreciate what you have now, that makes you better off!

I know its easy to forget the harder times, because, well, they were hard. But what if we looked at those hard times differently? What if we  reflected on those hard moments and saw them as markers that changed us and challenged us for the better. Try making your timeline, see where you’ve been and how you ended up where you are today!

Here are a few things to consider when you make your own!

-What was the first decision you made, separate from decisions your parents have made for you?

-What was a pivotal moment in your childhood that you feel still stays with you as a formative moment or season today?

-Name a few significant moments that changed your life. (Marriage, birth, death, career change, etc) And WHY they changed your life or didn’t!

-Remember a time you were scared, but things worked out… and when they didn’t work out.

-Think about small things that have happened to you that you wouldn’t really consider being major but in reality they were.

-Name a few people who have influenced your life to go in a different direction and why!

The possibilities are endless! The main point is to remember where you’ve been, and how those moments made you, you. Maybe you are at a pivot point in your life currently, and faced with a decision to go either way, looking back might help you make a better decision.

Have fun, be honest with yourselves and be creative with your timelines! This is a reflection of your past that can help you form ideas for your future. Enjoy!

XO-Mimi

#Momprobs.

New meanings moms (and dads) would give to otherwise mundane terminology. 

1. Dinosaur Books: Bounded pages filled with unpronounceable words like: Nothronuchus or Yangchuanosaurus (seriously, what happened to the easy ones like T-reX? Or Long Neck?), that make me sound like I can’t read. And ultimately make story time a million times longer then it has to be.

2.Limbo: That place you are in after the kids are in bed and you need to decide whether you will clean the house, or just fall asleep.

3. Purgatory: That other place that happens when you are tired all damn day and its finally bedtime. Your kids fall asleep, and suddenly you aren’t tired anymore. (!&#%&!*! I know you’re feeling me on this one mom’s and dads out there.)

4.Barista: Your Best friend at 7:00 AM, 2:00 PM and sometimes even 6:00PM

5.Bartender: Your other BFF who you often see when you really need a break typically at 7:00 AM, 2:00PM and 6:00PM…hey. Its always 5 o’clock somewhere right? I don’t judge.

6. Wine: Magical elixir that breathes life into you when you feel like you just. can’t. even. anymore  and…..usually crying ugly tears.

7. High Heels: What are those? Those pokey devil tools that make me walk like a drunk puppy?

8. Bathroom Break: That place you go to hide from your family.

9. Eating Right: What happens when you are trying to diet but McDonalds is on the right hand side of the road. Thats eating, right?

10. Dressing up: What I do when I drop my son off for preschool to make other people think I have it together.

Boy Style

Shopping for boys hasn’t been an easy task. For a mom who styles women for a living and LOVES to dress up, not being able to find amazing pieces my boys was, and is still a little heart breaking. It’s so easy to walk through any clothing store and see racks of clothes, shoes and accessories for girls of all ages. The boys section always pales in comparison!

So what is a mom to do? Here is a list of easy and in expensive ways to outfit your little dude to be the most stylish kid on the playground.

1. Go for the Accessories: You can count on easy staples for boy’s clothes: Shorts/pants, Tops that are long or short-sleeved (or tank top), and that is pretty much it. So try reaching for cute hats and accessories. You can find amazing hats at H&M or Old Navy for often time less than $10 each!  Spring is a great time to buy hats like the one my son in the picture above is wearing. By summer these are often sold out!

2. Jackets are always cool: Except when its hot outside (obviously). A great way to dress us an outfit is by finding a great jacket. Light weight jackets are so fun for spring and always come in bright colors. My tip for buying jackets is: Always shop during CLEARANCE season for a size larger than your child wears currently. You can get amazing discounts on expensive coats for the next winter! Your kid can have that stylish jacket and you won’t have to fork out $100 on something he will only wear for three or four months.

Added bonus: A vest is always cute too!

3. SHOES SHOES SHOES: Name brand shoes often time come at a hefty price tags. But I have found some of my kids (and my) favorite shoes at places like Ross and Marshall’s at a fraction of their retail prices! Since I know they will only be worn for a season or two, I hate spending so much, for so little wear.

4.Online Shop Till you Drop: Shopping online will often land the best kids clothes. While not every piece will be super inexpensive, it will be super one of a kind especially in his classroom. (Unless there are other savvy shopping mom’s who know where to buy the cute stuff). Gilt.com is an online retailer (you have to sign up to get the emails) that emails sales for all types of cute stuff. This place is not only for kids, but for grown ups too! There are a ton of other websites that offer this type of shopping so check um’ out!

5. Let them Experiment: My son was going through a: I just want to wear long sleeves and pants even when its hot out phase. So, I just let him do it. He quickly realized that maybe wearing what he wanted to wear wasn’t the most functional thing in the world (that, and his friends had short sleeves so…naturally he thought he should be wearing them too). But he also gets to pick out things he loves, and as much as I cringe when I tell him ok, I soon realized he is creating his own taste and sense of style for himself. He knows what he likes and doesn’t like, what is comfortable and not for him. He picks out pieces, I pick out pieces and our combined efforts sometimes makes the cutest outfits! Just let him be creative and see what he comes up with, he might surprise you!

 6. HUNT: There are just as much cute pieces our there for boys as there is girls, but as sad as it sounds, you just have to hunt for them. Try looking at different stores to make a whole ensemble. Don’t limit yourself on colors and patterns because those are the only pieces on the display table- and they all go together. Mix and match from different stores! I typically buy basics and then add one pieces from any place I come across.

Most of all, just have fun, they are only young once so If they hate what you picked out for them… tough luck. You’re the mom. Happy Shopping!

XO-Mimi

What My New Self Knows

 My girlfriends and I got together for a Vision board making day.  It was, all at once, therapeutic, relaxing and just really fun. If you don’t know what a vision board is, its just a collage of all the things you want to invite into your life, basically your vision of the future, down on paper.

My girlfriend had posted a quote on hers that struck a chord with me, it said: “What would your New Self Tell Your Old Self?” and I thought long and hard about that.

What would me now, tell me then? Because I have changed whole heartedly. I mean who hasn’t changed over the course of a year, five year, ten years? We all encounter situations that shape us into better individuals or do I dare say, worse off than we were before.

So what would I tell myself? I think I would say to be more spiritual and kind to my body. As I get older I’m realizing how things c-h-a-n-g-e after thirty, and I don’t just mean my metabolism slowing down. I mean, hair loss,  inability to stay up past 9:30, and sensitivity to acidic foods. Maybe I would tell my young self to drink less, eat better and meditate daily. I would want early me to learn to navigate stress better because I’m anxious as all hell now. (But I’m working on it).

I would tell early me to keep making mistakes and not be so hard on myself when I made them. Because ultimately I ended up right where I belong…

What would your New Self tell your Old Self if you could?

Log out.

My girlfriends and I decided that for the month of April we would log out of our Facebook accounts and have a social media strike. Today is day 12. And I feel great. (It sounds like a twelve step program and I am in social media rehab)

I have to admit that the first week was hard. I wanted to log back in, and cheat. I wanted to see if I had any notifications…I wanted to see who was paying attention to my life…

But within the first few days I realized how much the action of opening my phone to check Facebook became a habit rather than a tool for communication. Of course I was communicating sometimes, but a majority of the time I would just grab my phone to out of pure habit. Not because I was eager to be on Facebook, just because it was what I did every morning. (This habitual checking not only became apparent to me when I woke up but throughout the day too, but maybe more on the next time.)

On a typical morning, I would open my phone to check “the news” on Facebook and then get out of bed. Without Facebook, I actually got, well, I got out of bed. (Shocking, I know) I woke up without liking anyones posts, without seeing where my friends were vacationing. I wasn’t reading about the horrible morning my girlfriend was having with an X boyfriend and I wasn’t scrolling past endless vague-inside jokes- that no one but the poster (and the intended tagged individual) would understand.

Although there were some great articles to read and always some amazing photos to ‘like’, all in all it wasn’t worth wasting a half hour (maybe more) of my morning when I could be doing more productive things. Like brushing my teeth for instance, or taking a shower, or…hanging out with my kids.

I’ve realized quitting Facebook might just be something I will do forever. I have more time on my hands now. I have more social interactions with my friends in person and on the phone. And as an added bonus, my friends and I are actually talking to each other…not tagging each other and our location to tell everyone else what we are doing.

I used to think that checking my FB every ten minutes now and then was fine. Which it was, but those minutes do add up. And at the end of the day I realized I lost an hour (or more) just scrolling, and liking, and sometimes feeling shitty that I wasn’t vacationing with my friends too. Or whatever cool thing they were doing.

I have more then half the month more to go, so more on my Facebook logout later!

XO

Mimi